So this brings up a funny story.
IDK when, but I was on a trip, thinking about my ex wife(then girlfriend at the time) with my parents somewhere and they had these vibrating back massager things. Usually they’re like 4 wooden balls on sticks attached to a wooden handle. I knew how much my ex loved it. Anyway I thought “dude fucking brilliant” and I bought it for her and my parents were like: “Uh, ok? You sure she’s going to like that?” “I’m like are you kidding me? The number of times I have to get sore hands from giving her a back massage is incredible!” Oh, I’m like 15 at the time.
Well, I gift it to her, and with the smallest hint of embarrassment says she absolutely loves it. That night she thanks me again, saying it made things so much easier, in kind of a flirty tone. I completely miss all social cues always so this didn’t register. Sometime later I come over and she wants one of the back rubs, and I’m like “hey, grab that tool I got!”
She responds with “I’m not in the mood for that, besides it’s out of batteries.”
I thought I was going to fold into myself. “How many back rubs have you given yourself?” “Oh, like none. Just the fun stuff.” The heaviest levels of cringe hit, knowing how many people saw me buying this for my girlfriend completely oblivious to what it would be used for.
I am once again asking you all to just buy proper sex toys and lube.
Just use Buttplug.io
‘please, Internet, tell me how to turn my game controller into a vibrator’
Kids these days… Back in my day, we just turned on FF8 and spammed summons
Sackboy? Cyberspunk? Witcher 3: Wild Cunt?
Hilariously, the actual Cyberpunk game would work for this. There’s a weapon in the game that’s just a giant dildo, and holding it causes your controller to rumble continuously.
They don’t do that because the controller chip will cancel vibration after a while. The reason for that is exactly what you would imagine people used it for.
You’d need to mod the controller with a custom chip.
The reason for that is exactly what you would imagine people used it for.
That does not make absolutely any sense at all. Why would they care about what people in private use controllers for? Why would they care enough to actively program something preventing that?
It’s Sony, a Japanese company.
Why would they care about what people in private
Lol. Lmao, even.
Sony cares a bit too much about how people use the things they own that Sony made.
Japan is famous for its laws and customs regarding nudity, sex, porn, accessories, etc… Anything you might expect a stereotypical prude to clutch their pearls over, really. It’s simply gasp too obscene!
Sony: “How dare you even think about using our controller for that”
Hitachi: “Have I got a product for you”
Ah yes, Japan where Hitachi is from, famously not a company that made a magic wand.
To be fair, having recently been on the market for a proper vibrating sex toy, they’re expensive as fuck, and according to my ex-wife (ow. ex- still stings.) capable of providing mind-blowing orgasms. So yeah, for those without a budget, we make do with what we got, or the bargain bin at Good Vibes.
TMI:
spoiler
The item in question doesn’t figure into why she’s ex- now, but the reason we were on the market for one absolutely does. I’ll be talking to an endocrinologist at the end of the year.
The MAGIC WAND hv-260 and all other models is currently 25% off on Amazon.
That’s right you can now own your own MAGIC WAND for only 69.99. Vibrate your bits into next week with the classic and most powerful muscular relaxor with countless accountments and a time tested design.
ENJOY THE POWER, BUY A MAGIC WAND TODAY.
This is not an ad I just really like the magic wand an for 69 dollars it’s a steal.
A friend of mine had to vibrate the snot out of her leg as part of PT (it’s a very long and gruesome story), and for stuff like that magic-wand type vibes are great. But the new orgasmotron vibes use weird biofeedback science and fancy rhythms to get the pulse just right for people who have various kinds of sexual dysfunction.
Some of them also relay your health issues back to the App provider to be added to your consumer profile and sold, so do use IoT security and try not to get ones that sell your info.
On one hand that sounds awesome, on the other hand that sounds so expensive its probably on par with a good tens unit which would also double as a muscle relief device.
lol bros never polished his knob with a hitachi
No, but I’ve seen CBT play feature vibrating the rope connected to a bound knob, so a GP medical vibrator can be used in that regard.
In my original story, the fancy vibe wasn’t for me; I’m half-ace which is probably related to psychotropic meds and low-T. Also I shoot off once in a while NP when the stars align and I have a mind to.
They’re not more than a new controller for the basic rabbit style vibrating ones. Controllers start around $60 in USA. I could be off, I got two Xbox controllers a few years ago to play couch games via steam, I don’t own a console.
Controllers in 2015 were about $40 for a Playstation standard and could get up to $200 depending on the features you wanted (e.g. wireless, self charging, extended range, game domination features, etc.)
Most people have a $10-$30 market for sex toys until they get serious about it. Kids exploring their bits don’t have any budget at all, and can only get things that pretend to be toys for kids.
Evidently, it’s appropriate to get your tween a vibrating broomstick (or a bumble ball if you’re a California hippy parent who wants to assure your toddler grows up well-adjusted) but not a vibrating rubber duckie. I’m not fully sure why.
You can probably get something serviceable in that price range, but tbh the magic wand is about $100 and yeah it’s a “have a job” toy, but it’s the sort of toy that people don’t think of as “seriously getting into sex toys” toy. Though I will say that category does have several subdivisions once you’re in it. There’s a wide gulf between people who have a few vibrators and a strap on and the people who own a sybian
Just pop over to cvs and get a back massager.
Someone desperate enough to masturbate with a ps5 controller does not have the means to buy anything.
I was thinking it might be an embarrassment issue. But that’s a good point. Although PS5 are pretty expensive iirc.
Consider: they did not buy the ps5 themselves because they are an extremely hormonal child.
Except apparently a ps5
Unless, say, they did not buy that ps5. Like a child might not buy their own electronics but rather be gifted them. Like a child who might be very hormonal and desperate to masturbate with anything that can vibrate.
Don’t know about on PlayStation but: https://borderlands.fandom.com/wiki/Good_Touch
An unlisted effect occurs with game controllers using vibrate that breaks the fourth wall. While the character wields the gun, the controller will vibrate continuously even when not firing.
