I ate some raw ground beef in my sleep a few days ago and woke up dry heaving. That was not fun.

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Dude! Another Heilung fan. I’m seeing them in April at Red Rocks in Colorado.

As a man I’m so afraid of being a mansplainer that I just don’t talk about much. Then women ask me why I’m so quiet all the time

If your burrito doesn’t stay closed, the person making your burrito had no idea what the hell they were doing. This is a Chipotle problem.

I believe in gun control but I pack appendix carry and have a 0.8 second draw. Too many lunatics are allowed to own guns these days.

My current state.

I’m going through a divorce and living in my mom’s guest bedroom.

The only thing keeping me going is the dream of my very own apartment. I’ve got quite a few shitty months ahead of me before that happens. I’m losing my house, my wife, my stepkid, and my three favorite cats in the world. I hate this, but it has to happen.

I’m not saying she shouldn’t have complained about this. She has every right to, but complaining about it definitely made the problem a lot worse.

I tried this and the waiting list for anything remotely worth a damn was months long. I just went and pirated the thing instead.

Has your experience been different?

The only thing you can know for sure is that you exist.

Absolutely nothing else can be proven to exist with 100% certainty.

I’m going to shill for LifX here and not get paid for it. I swear.

They already made smart bulbs that you can set a “cleaning schedule” on that uses UV light.

I don’t have any yet because LifX is expensive. I have 11 of their multicolor bulbs throughout the house, though. Bought those back when I had bachelor guy money.

https://www.lifx.com/products/lifx-color-clean-edition-1pk

Welcome to the light side

It’s never a bad idea to instance block them. They’ll endlessly bully you and gang up like a bunch of school children. The only thing that stops it is to stop responding.

I count at least 5.

We might as well just start calling them “features.” We all know Apple is about to.

Yes, whoever you are.

I have a really bad habit of never looking at anyone’s names…

That’s probably the best microwave dinner left on the planet if it doesn’t have freezer burn.

Good news is they can become instantly shorter when I try to touch them as I walk by.

Gotta agree with this. Haven’t played for a few years, but I think his is uncommon at best and non-legendary.