In real life, you can filter by not hanging out with people who speak abusively about and to you. You can walk away. And yeah, sometimes those abusive people follow you. So a lot of them seek online support communities as a retreat from the abuse. Saying “they should just toughen up” misses on what their daily life is like, and that no one wants to be subject to constant unending abuse
Sup. I’m doing that. It’s working pretty well for me. I recommend it to anyone who wants to participate in the communities on beehaw but also wants the very permissive pattern, particularly if you have a favorite community here or on lemmy.world. I see plenty of people who are upset that they really liked a community on beehaw and now because their instance is defederated they can’t go there, but consider that that community was the way that it was because of decisions made about moderation