Boots with the purr 😻

Nah, but we got a bit of this sorta thing going on:

He’s identical to my baby pictures at his age, and he got my 96th percentile noggin

No, he is my son too

My wife and I like this booth because our son’s stroller fits nicely without blocking walkways =)

NTBDBIWDFTA

Doin well so far! Only a little over a week left!

Meant to send this to my wife, then accidentally sent it to my whole family group chat

So curse you XD

I’ll have you know that there are several states that no longer practice slavery, thank you very much! XD

A friend! =D

I can add an unfortunate example in the opposite direction: I’ve been having trouble getting my prescription filled so I haven’t had my meds for more than a month

My handwriting has deteriorated observably (my phone is actually having trouble recognizing my swipe-typing gestures, too) and my living space is in shambles. Fuck the DEA.

If buying isn’t owning, piracy isn’t stealing!

I freaking love mechanical calculators!

That’s based on the assumption that the two angles in the middle add up to 180, which can’t be assumed by inspection alone as demonstrated by the visibly square 80° angle

I was gonna say, that’s a pretty big nerf

Nice.

Reminds me of this cute story XD

https://www.tumblr.com/tricktster/720423412719288320

Get a browser spoofing add-on! I have google fiber, and I’ve found that my internet is faster if it thinks I’m using chrome 🤷‍♂️

Tag yourself I’m slumber

Be sure to have it scanned for a chip!

I don’t understand the torture thing, but I think the comment is joking that “bringing in the goat” would mean bringing in LeBron, because he is the G.O.A.T. (greatest of all time)

Edit: found an explanation: https://knowyourmeme.com/editorials/guides/what-does-the-salt-water-goat-torture-two-sentence-horror-story-mean-the-viral-reddit-post-explained