There’s nothing more heterosexual than sex with another man. The vagina is too soft, feminine and accommodating. To raw-dog or be raw-dogged by another man takes strength, determination and perseverance. These are values that are exemplified in a healthy heterosexual relationship, therefore gay is straight and straight is gay.

Because of the way chromosomes work, all men start out as women. So every relationship is a lesbian relationship and therefore gay.

Perfectly fine unless you’re dating Edward Scissor Hands.

There’s nothing more American than the love between a man and a horse. Trump is a true red blooded all-American cowboy who isn’t afraid to do and say what we’re all thinking!

I remember this. There was a girl that basically ruined her jaw and teeth by drinking vinegar.

“Your wife didn’t have enough meat on her bones, bring in your eldest child on Monday.”

-Corporate

“You can have the funeral in the alley behind the restaurant during lunch. Throw your wife in the dumpster after you’re done.”

-Your manager