I fucking learned a whole-ass language for nothing back then because I thought it was the future!, fuck you, XHTML!

Your mother?

You ever see something on the internet that just makes you Jim-face at an empty corner of the room, as if the ghosts of your ancestors are watching and you need them to know that you are equally shook as they probably are?

You joining my cult or nah?

Thanks bud, I’ll check out those films. Love Kumaré, I watched it again just a little while ago.

I follow a podcast called Let’s Talk About Sects, by a nice Australian lady called Sarah Steel who talks about different cults each week and studies them, she’s very, very good.

These “laws” are just manmade constructs, I only trust the word of god. (And god told me to build a compound and fill it with devotees and guns)

Attract people with the true promise of very cheap, simple, communal living, free from the pressures of capitalist society, a shared belief system, and/or a common ideology.

Offer free workshops on useful skills like food storage and survival techniques, meditation, prayer, self-sufficiency, trauma counseling and drug and alcohol rehabilitation

Restrict calories by setting meal times and durations.

Make sure there is enough work so that everyone is busy all the time

Restrict movement by having mandatory meetings, meditation sessions, or chores at particular times throughout the day so nobody has time to go to town.

Erode individual identity with common dress, common food, common hairstyles etc.

Identify and keep track of individual weaknesses (Trauma, parental issues, weight insecurity, financial insecurity, fear of failure, fear of abandonment mental illness), key motivations (Financial stability, seeking to be apart from society, seeking happiness), basic desires (financial security, relationship security, being part of a community, sex)

Make extensive use of seed phrases and formal speech rules so that people censor their own speech. EG Each must greet the other with 'Good day, good evening, good morning, etc. As innocuous as this sounds, it forces interactions to begin on a predictable footing, and guides conversation along predictable lines. Said often enough, the formal ‘Good morning’ excludes the possibility that anything bad has happened, is happening, or might happen. People cannot speak to children and vice versa without a parent present (very handy if you take in runaways that have no parents), unmarried men and women may not be alone together except when courting, new members must have a guide/buddy/chaperone/mentor/elder present with them at all times for the duration of their probation.

Maintain division by requiring individuals to report non-conformity by others, make non-reporting of non-conformity a punishable act, and make non-conformity a poorly defined and easily applied term, so that everyone is guilty, and you as the leader get to pick and choose who is punished.

Punishments are gentle tightening of above restrictions - more work, less food, less interpersonal contact, less free time, more proselytizing etc.

Reward extravagantly those who recruit others, using free time, more food, more freedom, sex with other members as a reward.

Reward extravagantly revenue-generating activities, manufacturing, labor, producing food, donating money or assets, or illicit income such as burglary and shoplifting .

Enjoy your cult.

I must find the monstrous function which indexes virtual arrays that I implemented in a Google sheet of mine when I discovered there’s no limit to how reckless you can be in a single cell.

Edit: Here it is: ARRAYFORMULA(IFERROR((INDEX('Invoice History'!$A$7:$A$44, SMALL(IF(($G$3='Invoice History'!$D$7:$D$44)*('Invoice History'!$F$7:$F$44="Unpaid"), MATCH(ROW('Invoice History'!$A$7:$A$44), ROW('Invoice History'!$A$7:$A$44)), ""), ROW(A1))))))

According to my documentation, it is used for “Looking up a value on a row, on another sheet, where two other values on that row match the given criteria”

Yalls remember the security concerns when that sailor secretly installed a star link on a US warship?

Why aren’t you tending to your factory?

Macht Schell!

No America’s club

“You really shouldn’t be awake for this” - the orthodontist crushing my sideways wisdom teeth with pliers so he can rip the shards out individually.

Jod introduced the idea of freewill to the board.

Lucifer said “That’s a bad idea, chief. Free will would ruin them.”

Jod cast him out.

Humans fucked everything up.

Jod sent his CTO, Jesus to try and fix it. It went poorly.

Lucifer said " I told you so"

Who doesn’t know what a trans person is?

Saddam meme too.

What are you gonna make?

Pretend you have no concept of electric cars.

“Diesel or gas? Where do you fill it up? Yeah I know how electric cars work, don’t treat me like an idiot. I’m asking where does the fuel go?”

Channel your inner grandpa when being shown the touchscreen. Firmly stab and hold your finger on the screen when pushing buttons. I’m told they don’t have parking brakes, so insist to be shown where the park brake is.

Ask how many miles to the gallon. Haggle endlessly. Make them show you the engine.

The robots have learned of quiet quitting