• fubarx@lemmy.ml
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    26 days ago
    • Any work or study done during an all-nighter is a waste.

    • If you meet someone and all they do is talk about themselves, they won’t be a good friend.

    • Nobody really cares how you look or what you wear. And anyone who does has bigger issues they would rather not deal with.

    • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
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      25 days ago

      Depends. When I was in art school, I regularly worked for 36 hours straight, and at least once for 72 hours straight. But it’s studio work, where you’re actually making a <<thing>>; it never would have worked to have been trying to read Marx/Engels or Hegel and expect to have any kind of comprehension.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

        Yeah engineering work on an all nighter is worse than not, but you gotta do what you gotta do and it’s physically there then.

        Though writing for a classics class is the other area I’ve found all nighters to be acceptable. Though that was as a 19 year old on methylphenidate.

    • Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      26 days ago

      Any work or study done during an all-nighter is a waste.

      Depends. I did some of my best work at this time (private project. not for my actual workplace).

  • That_Devil_Girl@lemmy.ml
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    24 days ago

    That property has more rights and protections than people do.

    The value of human life, in reality, is much lower than I thought it would be.

    Laws and rights are only as good as the people & mechanisms that enforce them. A piece of paper doesn’t protect you, people do.

    That people often prefer a comforting delusion over the truth, even if it hurts them in the long run.

  • kang@lemmy.ml
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    25 days ago

    No matter how hard you try, how loud you cry, some people will never change.

  • gasgiant@lemmy.ml
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    26 days ago

    The sunk cost fallacy is a very easy way to get stuck being miserable.

    Sometimes a drastic change might be painful at the time but will be much better for you overall.

  • sunbeam60@lemmy.one
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    26 days ago

    Your own happiness is more important that somebody else’s happiness.

    Not to say you shouldn’t be nice or help people, or invest in other people’s growth.

    But don’t do it to the detriment of your own.

  • Melobol@lemmy.ml
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    26 days ago

    The thing that comes only with age is: to not give a fuck.

    When we learn that it doesn’t matter we can all be little old people who are purple mohawk headed, wearing clashing neon adidas jumpsuit with zebra primted boas.

    • ChihuahuaOfDoom@lemmy.world
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      26 days ago

      I only learned this a few weeks ago at 40 years old, now my hair is blue, both my ears are pierced and I’m a lot happier. I told my 19 year old daughter that “what will people think?” has been my mantra, now it’s “fuck 'em”

      • foggy@lemmy.world
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        26 days ago

        "at 20, you care the world what everyone thinks of you

        At 40 you learn to not care what anyone thinks of you

        At 60, you realize nobody has been thinking about you at all, the whole time."

        • Today@lemmy.world
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          26 days ago

          If you quit worrying what people think of you, you’ll realize how seldom they do.

      • Ænima@lemm.ee
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        25 days ago

        Hey, I’m you and you’re me! I also just turned 40 in late September. Happy belated birthday, ya old fart!

    • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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      26 days ago

      There’s always someone who will look at your life telling you you’re doing everything wrong. And you know what? That’s fine. It really doesn’t matter.

  • Alice@beehaw.org
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    26 days ago

    My family is never going to return the favor. Should’ve gone to school instead of taking care of them.

    • tenchiken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      26 days ago

      “Family first” is such a contemptible load of crap. Primarily this idea only seems to be brought out by the same exact people that then abuse the notion.

      • blindsight@beehaw.org
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        26 days ago

        “Family first” is unidirectional. Parents put their kids first. That’s the job. I signed up for it, and I’m going to prioritize then as much as I can.

        • tenchiken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          25 days ago

          That’s a bit different, and as it should be, but then it’s likely clearer to just directly state the intent to protect the future generation.

          “Family first” in my experience has always referred to the lateral or upstream bloodline. Deadbeat parents or lazy piece of crap siblings trying to justify grift or outright abuse.

          I’m an ideal world, the phrase wouldn’t exist and people would just be decent; parents would prioritize their children and siblings etc would just help each other. I wish this were the case, but as with many others I’ve instead come to trust and rely on found family instead of bloodline.

          And I’m forever in debt to my daughter. I will never expect her to put my life or needs before hers. My disgust at my own parents’ egotistical failings only magnified after personally experiencing becoming a parent.

          Family is a sorting category word though, so while there’s truth to kids first, the phrase regarding family first is very very often abused to try forcing the hand of broken ties between the aging parent wanting the child to instead provide regardless of whether it’s deserved or not. It’s frequently an excuse for abusive siblings who’ve continually taken advantage of their kin.

          Bluntly, relation is pure chance and does not immediately imply a debt with exception from “parents must care for their child” by social and biological need. I don’t owe my physically and mentally abusive parents or brother a damned thing except my disgust.

          People in general, not just kin, need to earn respect and community with each other. The bond of parent caring for child doesn’t immediately imply the child owes the parent for “bringing them into this world”, and instead implies a larger scope debt toward that child then being indebted to any children they subsequently bring into this life.

            • tenchiken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              25 days ago

              Heh, thanks! No but my girlfriend hates that I don’t. I grew up reading books that my other (not crappy) older brother did and his influence greatly impacted my interest in science and language.

              One brother is a psychopath, the other is literally the type of scientist that is changing the world. I’ve considered trying at writing some once I finish cleaning up my life from the people I’ve had to excise.

              For what it’s worth, I just have spent my life having to constantly revise how I communicate and sometimes it helps. Usually it just annoys people if they aren’t really interested.

              • mitrosus@discuss.tchncs.de
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                24 days ago

                It is a joy to accurately communicate with people who care you. It is also a joy to annoy others who don’t.

                Please write. Please write.

  • Nytixus@kbin.melroy.org
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    26 days ago

    Grace Periods.

    I’m glad I know them now, because for the longest time, I thought I was in a fucked situation whenever my finances were tight. Like if I was due a bill and my pay cannot cover it because of the dates being different. It used to make think that I had to take a hit and just roll with it. But no, some of my bills allow me a brief grace period where I can gather resources in time. Sometimes I’ll even stretch my money beyond some grace periods if it means that I can upkeep some resources then just pay the difference later.

  • hperrin@lemmy.world
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    26 days ago

    Lying can get you ahead in the immediate, but then you’re a liar, and liars lose friends and alienate people.

    • HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com
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      26 days ago

      The danger to me is its sorta impossible to lie without in some way believing it. The Costanza thing. It basically reduces your own ability to discern reality.

    • TriflingToad@lemmy.world
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      26 days ago

      opposite for me. Sometimes it’s better to lie about small details as to not bag down an unrelated conversation with “well actually it was my sister’s boyfriend’s mother’s dogs uncle that told me that, not my sister’s boyfriend’s dogs aunt.”
      I also have autism and struggle with conversations so that’s probs why.

    • Scubus@sh.itjust.works
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      26 days ago

      Really depends on the lies. Lies that get you ahead on life are typically not the same ones that tend to snger those you care about.

    • weeeeum@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      I met a lot of people with traumatic histories, and were very insecure. They are utterly exhausting to be around. Constant nitpicking, valid criticism with brutal delivery. Make excuses to undermine others accomplishments.

      They are not bad people, or have malicious intentions, but can only be described as utterly exhausting. You are always on edge.

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
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    25 days ago

    I’m not sure it’s ever too late to learn anything. Unless you are dead.

    But I do wish I’d been able to feel ok about my body as a teenager, the anorexia was harmful to my bones & heart, so I guess technically I learned too late to value my body, or learned it too late to avoid damage anyway, though I’m pretty healthy overall now. I think almost all teenagers are uncomfortable with their looks in some way, at least they were back then.

    • weeeeum@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      I have elderly family that seem miserable because they never bother to learn or achieve anything since they are “too old” for it to matter.

      They assume retirement is just lounging around all day until you die. They don’t pursue hobbies, read books and are not very active since it “doesn’t matter” .

      • RBWells@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

        I read somewhere that if you actually wanted to feel good when you were old, it took 3 hours of exercise every day (meaning physical activity, not 3 hours of weightlifting). Which made sense to me, and I figure if I’m able, that’s what I’ll do if ever lucky enough to retire. I don’t have a spare 3 hours a day now but have increased my daily movement to get ready so it’s not a shock, lol. So they could be depressed because of physical idleness.

        But it seems hard to never learn anything, unless you are making a very intentional effort not to!

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          25 days ago

          My grandpa likes to talk about how it’s when people stop doing things that they begin the downward spiral. He’s not doing the best at the moment himself but by the standards of a 90 year old he’s doing amazing.

          Accomplishment and knowledge are their own rewards, aim for a high score in them