“If you enter a room it feels like someone was leaving” - but in an ironic way.
The human equivalent of drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth.
That or smooth brain.Not said to me but someone I know, “you’re a lanky string of piss”.
“Call him… call him ‘piss lips’, but don’t tell him I said that.”
That I’m a gay n word. Like, I am neither so what’s up with that? He quickly biked off and I couldn’t get him to clarify.
That might have been a reference to a very old Slashdot meme, ca. 2002. Sometimes those words were combined; there was a movie with the words + “from outer space”; and there was a trolling group GNAA.
Now, is that what they were going for? Only you can answer that. It’s a pretty deep cut into a pretty nerdy corner of the Internet.
I got told I sound like Dukie from “Adventures of the Gummi Bears”.
In early 1980s, driving to the mall right before Christmas with girlfriend and her mom in their ancient huge Caddilac. It’s a zoo. Girlfriend’s mom consipates the whole parking garage by driving poorly and gridlocking the place. People are honking and yelling at her. She hangs out the window and yells, in a strong Fran Drescher accent: “YOU DON’T HAVE THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!”
I like “mouth breather” from Stranger Things it has the right sound and pacing to make a good insult but doubles back as a wtf thinker moment. In an emo moment where the person wants to auto respond to everything in argument, it is funny to manipulatively force them to deny it, then call them out on how stupid they are for saying they do not breathe.
FYI “mouth breather” predates the setting of Stranger Things by decades. It’s also not about manipulatively forcing them to deny it: https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/508300/mouth-breathing-as-slang-for-stupidity
… then call them out on how stupid they are for saying they do not breathe.
Either you’re a mouth breather yourself or you’re a Fallout ghoul or something.
Also the amount of times I heard people called mouth breathers when I was in the Corps is off the charts.
Sounds like a case of the crayon-eater calling the mouth-breather stupid…
Hahahhahahhahahahhahshajhahahahahhashahhaahahahahahahahhaha what a funny, original joke! I’ve never heard that before, not even a single time in my entire life! You should do standup!
Damn, did I touch a nerve?
Oh, are you actually a person and not ai?
Is that supposed to be the strange insult?
I mean it was such a low effort joke i just thought you were an ai bot at first.
“Edomite!”
I was getting onto a bus, someone looked me over and spat out the word. It was clear from the tone that it was an insult, but it also sounded suspiciously bronze age, so I was very excited to find out what it meant.
Turns out it’s a biblical reference used by some black nationalist groups in the US to refer to white people as unclean or diseased. Edom was one of several late bronze age Canaanite kingdoms. At one point the torah describes them as slightly paler and dirty, hence the insult.
“Edomite”? Oh, like one of Yakub’s creations?
I called out man in his fifties being sleezy around women who didn’t have any company.
I roasted him , to which he responded “you are bad” (in my native language that word would specifically mean bad at something).
Bad at WHAT bro?
Assuming you are finnish and google translate did my right, olet huono
That’s correct.
What I said to him among other things, “mee muualle siitä setämieheilemään” =" why don’t you go be ‘uncle man’ elsewhere."
Uncle man would be something used to call out middle aged men who are being nasty, usually for women much younger than them.
“Your opinion matters as much as anne franks drum set”
Oh I got one from when I was a kid: my sibling’s friend once valled her an “invertebrate brain”. I’m glad she didn’t have any vertebrae in there!
Kid called me “a pocket” once. That might not sound so bad, but he said it with a real mean sneer.
That kid probably fills his pockets with mud and stones, and the blood of his enemies.
Toxic polyamory situation. A partner I lived with and was once very in love with fell away when she got interested in someone new. It was messy and shitty. I wound up dating someone new, who I had a great relationship with, and it was very physical. But I still lived in a 2 bedroom apartment with my ex.
My ex was a bit weird. She sort of viewed relationships as whatever things with no boundaries. Folks just do whatever they want in the moment and there’s no fidelity according to her. (Things I learned after I fell in love with her. Woof.) She also had intoned a few times that my new partner was a slut, which was sort of funny, given that my new partner had a pretty strong moral code.
My ex got a little less interested in her new guy, and tried to seduce me one night. And I rejected her. We had officially ended things, and I did not want to revisit that.
My ex sneered at me. “Fine. I hope you’re happy with [New Partner], and I hope [NP] is happy with you and your… magical penis!”She practically spat that out at me, and… yeah. It was as funny then as it is now.
And for the record, it’s not magical. I just like to put top hats and little capes on it sometimes.
I was in an open relationship once. It seemed fun on the surface, and it was definitely a very physical thing, but I realised that on an emotional level things just weren’t clicking: one moment she would refer to me as her boyfriend and her ex as the other, and then in another instant that would be flipped.
I had no clue where I stood with this girl, and planning for any kind of future was impossible. Once I exercised my right(?) to sleep with someone else, I was labeled as a fuckboi and she broke it off. Stressful as hell. Dodged a bullet.
Anyway, congrats on your magic dick.
That sucks, man.
I’ve been some stripe or other of non-monogamous for most of my adult life, and those types of relationships are often the ones that people experience first when they dip their toes in.
It’s honestly kind of maddening, because beyond making it seem like everyone who is poly/nm/whatever are all horny sociopaths (because almost everyone has something like that as a first story), it’s harmful. It’s physically and emotionally unsafe for the person who gets shafted. It treats people like they’re disposable and frankly, it’s selfish, insecure, and sometimes malevolent bullshit dressed up as a hippy-dippy love-fest.It’s really fucking hard to be ethically nonmonogamous, and I wish people would stop pretending they knew what they were doing. No one knows, and it’s the faked confidence that gets so many people in trouble. People just trust someone to take care of them, and then the other person fails because they’re human, and humans fail. And yet… I can’t imagine not being this way, for some dumb fucking reason.
I’ve been stably poly for 5 years and my biggest lesson has been that stably poly people aren’t who new people wind up with because we aren’t churning through people. I’m just in two long term relationships at the moment. I’m open to another; but I’m very discerning about it. I have a few friends in similar positions.
I think being ethically nonmonogamous is hard but mostly because it’s hard to be vulnerable and treat people right when all your hormones and emotions are flaring. But some of the people I most respect the relationship wisdom of are poly as well. Others are monogamous, and yet both the monogamous and nonmonogamous ones sound very similar when talking about relationships. They speak of honesty, self knowledge, emotional regulation, and a willingness to walk away before it becomes a shit show once you understand it’s no longer working.
But I’ll say this, I’m never going back to monogamy. It wasn’t where I was supposed to be.
In retrospect I think my comment sounds like I’m just excusing being sort of crappy if you’re humble about it.
I wish I’d included the sentiment that we’re all trying the best we can — because being a good partner should be the goal for any relationship.Even though I’m currently only with my wife, I’m right there with you. I don’t want to add anyone to the mix unless their addition is very carefully considered.
I speak better in metaphor sometimes: It’s kind of like physics, almost. Imagine that we’re touching everyone in our life. If we allow someone to connect to us, they are going to impart their own momentum and direction. That is going to ripple through every connection we have, even if we aren’t able to measure or observe it. So we better make sure they don’t hit us so hard that pieces break apart or get damaged in the process.
There seems to be a fundamental equality problem there.
“You fucking Alaskan!”
I laughed uncontrollably for several minutes after receiving this compliment. Wrong continent, buddy.
As an Alaskan, I will say that that is a compliment of the highest order.
Now, if somebody had called you a Texan, that’s basically a slur. An insult of the greatest magnitude.
Living in the same latitudes I could only take it as a compliment.
Kill yourself sound so weird to me
