Do it. Be with your offspring as much as you can. Anything else is barbaric corporate slave mentality.

In our country, both parents are allowed to spend 6 months (each) at home with the newborn.

People always bitch about fathers being too busy for their kids and shit but as soon as a father wants to be there they’re all like “ew what the fuck is wrong with him”

That group you overheard were reinforcing their excuses for ignoring the needs of their child along with the needs of the mom, and reinforcing beliefs that have overwhelming evidence of being false.

Kids needs dads in their lives, the earlier the better. Moms need dads to help out and support them.

You’re not taking time off work to laze about, you’re switching from one job to take on several related jobs for a while so that you,your child, and your woman have a brighter future than any amount of money could buy.

You’re only missing out on taking the easy, shortsighted route. You’re missing out on ignoring the future cost your family has to pay in or for you to get back to the familiar routine of work as soon as possible. You’re missing out on staying with the known game of work to avoid taking on something new.

You’re not missing out, they are.

The traditional view that the father needs to work is strong. In Denmark we have had the opportunity to share the maternity/paternity leave between parents for several years, but most often the mother would take the majority, with only 2 weeks being specific for the father.

This is due to the imbalance in pay, since the cut in pay would be larger for a man (generally), so men voluntarily gave the leave to their wives. This is obviously not the intention of the leave and also based on the flaw of unequal pay. Keep in mind that the wage difference is often explained as being caused by the mother taking more leave and thereby not advancing her career during the years when they have small children.

So, to fix his, the latest law make more weeks untransferable. The father now has 11 weeks that can not be transferred. Use it or lose it.

One would expect such a removal of flexibility to make people upset, because technically it will cost the families more potential income, but it hasn’t.

It turns out that most men actually wanted the additional weeks of paternity leave. They just needed it to be normalized and/or the legal framework to demand it, so they don’t have to have this discussion with their employers or wives. No man is ever asked why they’re taking it now. Use it or lose it makes sense to everyone.

In addition we still have 26 (13+13) weeks that can be transferred however the parents want. Still very flexible.

I just got back from effectively 17 weeks of paternity leave- my company provides 12 weeks (or they did last year when I started, it’s now only 8), and then I had 5 weeks of PTO, sick time, and floating holidays.

Take all the time you have. Easily the best decision I’ve made for the past few years. Not only does it remove the “did I get enough sleep during the night” stress, but the time I spent with our new child was amazing.

I’m an software engineering lead for a team of 8, they did fine without me. The boat’s still floating, as it were.

I love my wife and kid, but I was ready to get outta the house after two weeks and go back to work

I had 6 weeks as that was what my employer allowed. I didn’t take it all at once, 4 weeks and 2 weeks later. I found that she needed help more during teething and sleep regression so it might be good to split it up if you can, also helps you keep on top of work.

But would say it’s important to ask what she feels she needs. I wouldn’t worry about your employer. Also, with the lack of sleep during those first few weeks, I can’t imagine anyone is productive at work.

I don’t intend to get kids but my coworkers have them once in a while.

I think you should have some. I don’t think it should be a matter of pride to not take any.

Honestly it took me years to lose the American work mindset. It was destroying my brain.

Take the leave and feel no shame. Others are reacting because you taking leave challenges their understanding of work. Something that is exceedingly rare in the US.

We took the first 10 months together and then I took an additional 8 months while she got back to work.

Literally zero regret. There’s so many small moments you’ll miss not being around. No amount of money can bring that back. Now that I’m working full time, it fucking hurts just seeing the kid basically just for dinner and bedtime during the week.

I’m pretty sure there is enough research that supports the idea of paternity leave increasing parental involvement and connection with your child and leading to more gender equality/more balanced responsibilities in families.

My husband and I went the very conservative route with him being off for 2 months and me being off for 3 years (German classic). Let me tell you I would have not survived the newborn stage, having no help from outside, without him. At the same time, for him it was so hard - although I am not sure that work was easier, he after all still came home to a little baby. Parental leave doesn’t mean you get to chill, it means you have no excuse for not doing half of the night shift, half of everything except breast feeding. When he went back to work, he would do the night shifts on the weekends, and I would do all the night shifts on workdays.

Your co-workers are morons. They miss out on helping their baby mamas, connecting with their kids, and going through a unique experience. Even if your pay was much lower, it’s worth it. It’s hard and stressful and awful and it is the best thing you’ll ever do.

Swede here. Taking care of your family means being an active parent and a sharing partner.

I took 18 months paternity leave with our firstborn so my partner could finish their degree.

Aside from the obvious fact that you should ne there for your partner and child, paternity leave is both economically sound for your employer and the economy as a whole.

It will mean a healthier child with better relationships to his parents. This will improve his/her performance in school, reduce the likelyhood of problematic behaviour requiring interventions and later the likelyhood of criminal activity.

So your child will likely be a more productive and reliable grown up eventually and you will have less stress as parents, which also improves your productivity.