My dad always likes to tell us about the Christmas when my uncle bought my aunt a tin opener (a good one!) for Christmas, she was apparently rather unimpressed but the story has given years worth of good laughs.
I also remember when my dad bought a holiday in New York for my mum and himself for Christmas, but the tickets were in a small envelope right at the bottom of a HUGE box filled with packing peanuts.
What terrible/joke presents can you think of that would be a good laugh on Christmas day?
Alcohol
I once received a 20kg salami. Quite the surprise and very memorable. It’s a fermented product, so stores well.
Hell yeah!
Boxes within boxes with different recipients. You hand the gift to the first recipient, who unwraps a plain cardboard box, opens it, and finds a gift wrapped with a bow and a new recipient. The gift is handed to the next recipient who repeats the process, and the gift moves on. The final tiny box is a dollar store magnet. The first box was the size of a refrigerator. Everyone gets a present.
My dad was going grey, so my brother bought him ‘just for men’ hair dye, which he opened at the Christmas dinner table with the entire family. He was about 9. We still laugh about it.
Man, your dad must have had you early, two children before 9…
Your dad went grey at 9!?
Having kids will do that to you
And the work in the lead mines
A positive pregnancy test.
One of those pillows that looks like an inflating phone battery.
Better idea: 3"*4" Magnetic viewing film, stored in a thoughtfuk card, which is wrapped in a box with 6"*6" thermochromatic film, which is itself is wrapped in a box with a roll of glow in the dark tape, and then given to them with another thoughtful card that holds a gift card to somewhere you think they would like. Basically a nesting set of tiny cool things that all cost about as much as the wrapping paper they are in.
“SO”? Sorry, I have problems that almost any possible sentence have his own unique acronym in english.
“Significant other”. It’s a stand-in for any partner (boy/girlfriend, husband/wife, commonlaw, fuckbuddy, etc)
Ty
I feel like one of those isn’t like the others
I have an old set of joke boxes I bought from The Onion ages ago that are really fun to put an actual present in and give to someone. For example, the Visorganizer: a small organizer pouch that clips onto the visor of your hat!
Another year the only thing my wife wanted was a new set of Airpods Pro. Now, for me, a very important part of a present is the surprise, so when she found a fairly large box under the tree, she figured she had gotten something else. Until she opened the box and found another wrapped gift inside. And another inside that, and another, and another… And finally at the end a small gift bag with the Airpods in 😁
Depending on the audience, there are cute little plush things, Giant Microbes, which have a line of sexual transmitted diseases. If you get one for an SO, they can say, “13esq gave me chlamydia for Christmas…”
Other good joke gifts can come from any inside joke that you may have with your SO, so these are very situational. At one point, I had joked that my SO was a sugar mama because she was paying for something expensive for us. I later got her a t-shirt for a candy called Sugar Mama.
On one date, we were the only ones dining at an outside patio at a nicer Italian restaurant. We had ordered wood fire pizzas. Anyway, a very large rat came to visit the patio, and we had joked about it at the time, even naming the rat. I later gave her an ornament of a felt rat holding a pizza slice (which is apparently a thing).
I can’t think of any others right now, but I love giving little joke gifts to people along with real ones.
Pizza rat became a thing after This
Ah, thank you! I don’t know how I missed that meme!
20 lbs of foot long nails.
Could go with a box full of spring loaded snakes.
Even better: 20 lbs of long toenails and a box full of real snakes.
The very largest potato you can find.
I proposed to my wife at Christmas by putting the ring in a bigger box so she was surprised. It was a box for skincare product, and she was actually excited for it before she even opened it to see the ring. Obviously she was happy for the proposal, but she also seemed a little disappointed she didn’t get skincare stuff.
The following Christmas, I got her a tiny container of a skincare product she liked and put it in a ring box.
Also, you may find a local store or boutique that sells quirky items. One popular brand that they’ll often carry is Fred, they make lots of ridiculous items. Other brands that I’ve found over the years are Larissa Loden, and Blue Q
M41A Pulse Rifle: 10mm with 30mm over-under pump action grenade launcher.
Perfect for the quivering shitebag coward in your life 😊
As a grandmom, my Mom has decided on boxes for really lame gifts that might make you wonder if she has dementia, for gift cards.
If you don’t give her sufficient ideas for her to buy you something you enjoy, you’re a Scrooge and deserve this box of instant jello …… containing a gift card so you can get it yourself
