I’ll go first. My ex cheated on me with a dude, (I’m les, she’s bi,) brought home chlamydia and bed bugs, then after 13 years of no contact, texts me randomly to try and pull me into an MLM pyramid scheme.
My girlfriend in college, who was really my first real love. I move to a bigger city for a job, we get engaged and make plans for her to move to the city then… She just ghosts me.
She calls me at work out of the blue two years later. Turned out she met some guy with a nicer car than me… However, apparently having a nice car does not equate to being treated well… Which I did treat her well.
When she called me, I was in the middle of job burn out, almost no social life and just really not in the mood for bullshit. So no, we never got back together and I’m glad.
Internetexplorer.exe just randomly comes back.
Divorced over a decade, no contact since. My ex and I were in a stupid cult when we married, and apparently he still is. They don’t allow remarriage unless one partner has “committed adultery.” He wrote saying he sees online that I’m living with another dude, but can I confirm whether or not I’ve had sex?
I ignored it.
I don’t blame you for ignoring it, but I read that as a request for confirmation whether they could remarry or not. I think I may have replied with the briefest confirmation possible and then refused any other contact.
He can remarry. We’re divorced. Its between him and the cult of they want to punish him for it. I refuse to give them any power.
“Sorry, but after our relationship I became celibate and it’s been great. Good luck! Please don’t contact me again.”
This is funnier and takes even less effort though.
Not sure how awful you would want to be in that situation, but with a lot more effort it could be even funnier without any words but a lewd picture instead, if your partner is up for it.
I actually feel bad for the dude, though.
Pity won’t save anyone from a cult.
A cult can feed on outsider’s pity.
If this is the last straw to leave it, sure, that’s worth it.
As it is it just sounded like spite, though. C’mon, it’s been years and the dude just wants a yes or no so he can move on.
I mean I don’t know specifics obviously but cults aren’t exactly women-forward tmk so I don’t tend to have much sympathy for the men in one.
Everyone regardless of gender typucally get abused in cults except for the leader.
You are correct, but so is the above commentor. Women were considered subservient to the men.
“No I haven’t had sex yet but I’ll let you know the moment that I do” followed by blocking them
You should write him back and say you’ve been fucking the cult leaders for years just to see what happens.
Caught her cheating, and when I broke up with her she refused and stabbed me with a fork. I have 4 little scars but one of the fork tines was slightly bent so they don’t line up perfectly
one of the fork tines was slightly bent so they don’t line up perfectly
That would irritate me more than getting forked in the first place.
I hope you filed a police report for assault and pressed charges. Looks like you dodged a bullet.
but not the fork…
Ha! Beat you by a minute!
He never had his car
Dodged the bullet, didn’t see the fork hah. I was young so I just ignored it, although looking back maybe it would have been for the best to report it. Maybe she would have gotten the help she needed.
It would’ve been a fork in the road kind of moment for her
But they should have dodged the fork…
I’m dad enough to suspect that my reaction to the stabbing would be “what the fork??”
And I’m 'tismo enough to seek corrective surgery to make sure the marks from the fork tines were in line.
If 'tismo is to mean autistic, that’s fucking beautiful and I’m stealing it.
The idea had crossed my mind once or twice, or extending the other three scars to match at the very least. But thankfully time has passed and they have faded now and it’s hard to notice
So your skin is perpetually mildlyinfuriating? What a terrible place for a curse.
Please tell me she yelled “fork you”
Guy I met had a scar like that on the back of his hand. Story was he had four brothers, all big guys. Mom would put the food on the table, but no one was allowed to take anything until they said grace. One night it was steaks, and they weren’t all the same size. When grace was done, they all went for a big steak with their forks. He was in first, but his brother ended up stabbing the back of his hand with his.
The fucked up and kind of funny part was that his brother’s reaction was to bring the guy’s hand over to his own plate by pulling it with his fork, and wiggling it until the steak fell off the fork onto the plate.
Mom needs to train them to come up and take their steak only when their name is called. Poorly trained boys gonna hurt someone smh
Yup, that’s the basic feral energy I picture for a family with 5 boys.
Maybe she was also finalizing the relationship by sticking a fork in you because y’all were done.
“I’m done! Stick a fork in me!”
The scarring sounds funny, are you willing to share a pic of it?
Well, if I’m being completely honest here, I’m the fucked up ex.
Right, but what did you do?
Joined lemmy. The sad bastard.
Just imagine doing that to another person, a person you care about. There are some true monsters in this world.
God damn. What a loser.
Fucking hell. Somebody should put him out of his misery.
Well hey, on the bright side, admitting it is the first step!
We’ll be the judge of that. What did you do?
My dude, saying that alone is a big step. Keep it up.
My ex wife contacted me last year claiming she found out she had syphillis and had it the whole time we were married. I got checked, was fine, and started wondering if she was just trying to fuck with me.
Did she call you on April 1st?
If so, best prank ever.
My wife’s ex… She wanted a dog, he didn’t. They compromised and got a dog. She broke it off shortly afterwards, because she realized he was a full blown mask-off white supremacist. She got the dog in the split, because she was the one who wanted him in the first place.
We got married like a decade later, and the dog died shortly afterwards. She had him blocked on everything, but sent a “hey just wanted to let you know the dog died” message through a mutual friend who still talked to him. He tried to use “grief processing” as an excuse to meet up for lunch. He was still a blatant white supremacist, but hadn’t seen any of our wedding photos because she had him blocked on everything. I’m not white. I offered to tag along to their meeting, just to see his the look on his face when I walked through the door and introduced myself as her husband.
Why even send the text at that point though?
Yeah that dog you didn’t want, and hadn’t seen in 10 years. It’s dead. Want to get coffee?
The only assumption is you wanna reconnect.
I offered to tag along to their meeting, just to see his the look on his face when I walked through the door and introduced myself as her husband.
Oh man, that would have been priceless. The one-liners you could have used are endless:
- “Wait, this is the guy who thinks he’s the ‘master race’? Seriously?!”
- “Did you find out if he has to shop for his white robes in the children’s section?”
Not that fucked up, honestly, but here it goes anyway:
Had a GF, we ended up breaking up. And it didn’t take much retrospective to realize how much better I felt once everything was over.
Anyway, due to loads of mutual friends we stayed in touch, and it was pretty drama-free, so it wasn’tas complicated as it could’ve been. Plus when I was in the army a couple of years later I was stationed pretty close to her and those friends. And in the weekends I didn’t have much better things to do than to hang out with them.One weekend all of us were out getting drunk together. It was pretty fun, but I’m pretty sure that she was trying to get some sort of response/reaction from me as she was always physically closest to me and none of the others, and always found a way of making any topic a reference to when we lived together. Not sure if alcohol was part of her decision making, but honestly didn’t care, as I just ignored it all and focusing on having a good time with friends. As the small hours arrived and the bar was about to close she found some dude and became a heavy makeout session in public. When it was time to head home (or back to the garrison in my case) we all said our goodbyes. I don’t even remember if she was there or not, which should indicate how much I cared about what she did or didn’t do that night.
One of my friends asked me what I had to say about it, and I was relieved (and felt kind of clever about) that my earnest response was “Never before in my life have I felt so indifferent”.
After my mandatory service was over I moved away elsewhere for work, and we all basically split up. Then she contacted me out of the blue after a long while and said she wanted to visit me. I just told her straight up “No.” and that I had a life going on that didn’t involve her. Then there were some allusions to her self-harming, and I told her that her mental health was not MY responsibility and hadn’t been for a long time, but I was going to call her mom about it (they were really close). I just put my phone away as I heard some protests and fears in the other end. I had stopped caring about things like that from her long before that point. And that was the last time we spoke. 2007 or so.
And just for the record: I ran into one of our mutual friends a while back, and she’s still fine.
Did you call her parent?
No, because I knew her well enough to know it was a drama infused act.
A woman I lived with for nearly 10 years fell under her fundamentalist family’s influence, and went off the deep end. We split up, and a few months later I get a call.
Now, first I have to tell you, the closest thing to a swear word they allowed themselves was “man.” So she calls me (she and her pre-existing kids were living there by now) and tells me that she and I were “married in gawd’s sight” which meant I needed to start sending her money. Well, you can imagine my response. And when she shouted behind her “he ain’t going to do it,” I heard her father scream “MAN!” Made my day, it did.
“I’ll pray you all the money you want”?
I mean, if we’re just going by god’s sight…
Amen
A-MAN!
A-MAN-LY-MAN-LY-MAAAAN
Lazy ass hobosexeual played the part of a caring partner for 2 years. He was in someone else’s bed whenever I wasn’t home at night, I worked the night shift so that was pretty much every night. I was constantly exhausted after working 12-14 hour shifts all the time, so I asked him to get a job or do anything to bring money in. He didn’t want to so he found some lady who made more than me to take his lazy ass in. I (sadly) begged him to stay and kept in touch.
One day, he came over to help me fix my brakes and tried to kiss me. I turned my check because fuck that noise. He had the BIGGEST crocodile tears I’ve ever seen in someone over the age of 5. Told me that he still loved me, just wanted to feel like I wanted him there (me begging wasn’t enough I guess), said he didn’t love her, she had “gross fake tits”, said he only cared about her money and her boat he was living on, said he had to sleep in his car when HE left because he had nowhere to go, blah blah blah. I told him to leave and then I found her on Facebook. I told her everything he had just told me. That dumbass still went on to marry his lazy ass and he still doesn’t work.
That’s ok though, my current partner of 10+ years is a massive improvement. He’s not an alcoholic and he has a job, so I won that one 😁
Also. Fuck you Levi.
Hobosexual?! Sounds classist if you ask me.
Is this a joke, or are you just insufferable?
Insufferable on Lemmy?
I’m shocked. Shocked!
Your updoots, Sir
It was a joke, calm down
I thought this was funny.
You don’t deserve the downvotes.
Also I’m REALLY failing to understand how someone could not understand that this was a joke. For the love of god.
I didn’t catch that it was a joke, I thought it was a misunderstanding or person legit thought it was a typo, but I also don’t think it deserved downvotes.
Sorry, no, that’s not what it means. It’s a word that refers to someone who mooches off of their partner because they don’t want to work. That guy was just an ass.
Never heard the term before. I assumed it was a typo
That makes sense, I could totally see that as a typo
Yeah but I always thought the hobosexual was the sucker. Like I’m a hobosexual because I prefer a domestic house husband but it’s difficult to find a man who isn’t just saying he’s one as a ruse for wanting to do 0 work, domestic or otherwise.
I’ve always heard it used to describe the lazy person, but I guess there are multiple definitions. I used it referring to this definition: A hobosexual is someone who dates for housing, not love
I think people having a discussion and agreeing that one person stays home while the other works is completely fine. That’s not what my situation was, he worked, then he didn’t, then he refused to.
that’s been my position several times as well unfortunately. like I said, lots of men say that’s what they’re gonna do, then they actually get there and realize domesticity is actually a legit job and they don’t really wanna do that either.
My mentally ill ex husband, who kept a heroin and serial cheating habit quiet for over a year before I put the pieces together and kicked him out, created a website to make it look like he’d started a successful company and sent it to my friends and family members asking them to forward it to me since I had successfully blocked any form of direct contact with me.
It was pretty sad. You could tell that it was hastily thrown together, probably while he was high/manic. It also resulted in a large chunk of the people he initially sent it to blocking him as well, which likely increased his isolation etc.
Word to the wise, friends, you cannot save people from themselves, no matter how much you want to or how hard you try. Not everyone with mental illness and/or addiction issues will treat you badly, but, if they are not actively pursuing help on their own, there’s not much to be done. Life is short, don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
Actually really needed to read that last line, thank you
Booty call over PlayStation network DMs
I can respect that; People have needs.
Although I would probably have assumed that a spam bot had gotten their login credentials.My thoughts exactly. Which is why I had to verify, in person at 2AM, that it was indeed her who sent it 🤦
😂 LOL
These are interesting to me, I never got a chance to experience this stuff myself. I have only 1 ex and it was from a relatively short relationship in high school, I got married to the second girl I ever dated and we’re still married decades later.
That first girl did cheat on me, so that sucked, but we never spoke again and I have no idea where she even is at this point.
One of my exes once sent me a Facebook friendship request more than 10 years after we’d split up. I’m still traumatised.
Guy I dated a few months when I was 16 found me on fb 25 years later and told me I broke up his marriage bc he loved me so much and wouldn’t shut up about me to her.
Yikes!
I understand. A Facebook friend request will do that to a person.
I feel like just using FB at this point will do that to you.
Oh no that may have been me.
I was legit curious how you were doing, OK?
Not an ex, but a ONS I had, got very upset it was just and ONS. She kept messaging me for days than nothing… 1 month later she sends me a vid how she is getting fucked and the message “look what you are missing out on”.
😂 Oh my god. If my ex sent me a video of her getting fucked, you best believe I’m forwarding to anyone she knows.
Jail Any% speed run?

















